Haddow Press Experiment

This is a cooperative blog: a co/blog. We've really just started this experiment, so give a few months to get some momentum. Each of the five charter authors involved are responsible for a different set of topics, and each will post on their own schedule. We hope you enjoy the content provided here, and find it useful. The information provided is meant as opinion and editorial purposes only, and should never be taken as professional advice.

Television Showdown - Episode #3

Archived in Television, Entertainment, Reviews | 1 Comment

This is Episode Three of my feature column, the Television Showdown on Haddow Drive where I pit two similar shows against each other on a variety of standard criteria. The criteria are always the same, and the winner of each criterion gets one point, for a maximum of five points. Winner takes all.

Episode #3
Family Guy versus The Simpsons

In this installment of the Television Showdown on Haddow Drive I pit Family Guy, the rude and crude animated adventures of the Quahog family against The Simpsons, the popular long-running cartoon based on the antics of Homer and Bart, et al.

Criterion 1: Glad-I’m-Not-Them Factor
Placing oneself inside an animated environment ups the ante on this criterion. I mean, would I rather subject myself to animated incompetencies of Springfield populous or the destuctive clumsiness of Perter Griffin? When I think of which environment I’d most likely avoid given the opportunity, I tend to lean to the homicidal angst of Family Guy — if for no other reason than a sensitivity to flatulence. Family Guy (+1)

Criterion 2: Use of Revenue Generating Product Placement
Clearly, a satirical cartoon makes it tough to gauge this topic appropriately: while Family Guy often spoofs name-brand products I’d need to be be a real cynic to believe they are garnishing any revenues from that mockery. On the other hand, The Simpsons did lurch into the early seasons flaw of hawking Butterfingers. Sellouts! The Simpsons (+1)

Criterion 3: Inclusion of Primates in Cast
Obviously, Homer’s strong affection for his primate bretheren features prominently in the character development of this whole series, but the Evil Monkey that taunts Chris from the shadows is a cartoon icon after just a few short years. Close, but kudos to Family Guy! Family Guy (+1)

Criterion 4: Clear and Present Reference to Adult Situations
Once again, there is a solid line between PG and M ratings on these two iconic series. While The Simpsons has dabbled in marital bliss, adultery, and soft-core implied, Family Guy dips the wick of adult-situations with clear abandon. Repeatedly. Over and over. Family Guy (+1)

Criterion 5: Gratuitous Use of Four Letter Explicatives
In the first two seasons of Family Guy this would have been a narrow margin victory for the show. But a re-energized comeback has launched the cartoon into mock-the-censors fury and there has been no looking back. The Simpsons can’t even compete! Family Guy (+1)

OVERALL
Family Guy clears the showdown with a 4 to 1 victory over the ever-popular Simpsons. Personally, I think it’s a product of the child out-doing the parent, but maybe that’s just me.

$Family Guy: Stewie\'s Guide to World Domination$

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Television Showdown Index >> Television Showdown on Haddow Drive I’m all into the feature columns so I’ve been fiddling with some ideas around a “television showdown” where I pit two similar shows against each other on a variety of standard criteria. The criteria are always the

Television Showdown - Episode #6 >> This is Episode Six of my feature column, the Television Showdown on Haddow Drive where I pit two similar shows against each other on a variety of standard criteria. The criteria are always the same, and the winner of each criterion gets

Television Showdown - Episode #2

Archived in Television, Entertainment, Reviews | 1 Comment

This is Episode Two of my feature column, the Television Showdown on Haddow Drive where I pit two similar shows against each other on a variety of standard criteria. The criteria are always the same, and the winner of each criterion gets one point, for a maximum of five points. Winner takes all.

Episode #2
The Amazing Race versus Survivor

In this installment of the Television Showdown on Haddow Drive I pit The Amazing Race, that infamous reality show of a race around the world, against Survivor, the ever popular stranded-on-a-desert island reality program.

Criterion 1: Glad-I’m-Not-Them Factor
Clearly, the folks on The Amazing Race get themselves in the occasional ratings-grab of a relationship spat or a wee bit of culture shock, but I know for a cold hard fact that I’d rather be racing around the world, eating good food, and seeing strange sites, than sitting on a hot beach trying to steal food from the camera crew and not showering for weeks. Survivor (+1)

Criterion 2: Use of Revenue Generating Product Placement
“…drive yourself south in your brand new Mercedes S-class…”, says it all. Both shows spotlight their fair share of products, but between the weekly prizes, ongoing transportation by land and air, and the abundance of tourism dollars that must be reaching the show The Amazing Race has this one hands down. The Amazing Race (+1)

Criterion 3: Inclusion of Primates in Cast
I don’t recall ever seeing anyone eat a monkey on Survivor, but the vast quantity of destinations reached by The Amazing Race has made for some serious opportunities for monkey cameos. Yet to see a monkey on the cast, but you can count on at least one primate sighting per season. The Amazing Race (+1)

Criterion 4: Clear and Present Reference to Adult Situations
If a co-ed beach party on a deserted island doesn’t say “implied adult situations” I don’t know what does. Do I need to say more? Or what did you think those hot singles were up to when the night-vision cameras are on? Survivor (+1)

Criterion 5: Gratuitous Use of Four Letter Explicatives
Relatively, the unscripted nature of both shows makes for many opportunities for a virtual plethora of cursing. Here, we see the censors again working overtime. The difference comes, however, in relation to our last criterion: four letter words in combination with adult situations quickly gets typecast as porn. Four letter words when they are directed at unwitting foreigners is “network comedy gold.” TV-Execs know this, and Survivor takes it like a prison shower scene. The Amazing Race (+1)

OVERALL
The Amazing Race takes this Television Showdown with a narrow margin win of 3 points to 2, proving one of Newton’s lesser know laws, a reality show in motion tends to suck less than one sitting lamely on a beach.