Haddow Press Experiment

You each need a little free cash…

Archived in Relationships, Finances, Budgets | No Comments

I’m not making this up. One of my co-workers and I were discussing how Brent (my husband) and I manage our FINANCES. I thought I would rephrase it for the coblog, so here goes.

Dear Liz,

My husband and I can’t seem to agree on how to spend our FREE cash. I want to save while he wants to spend, or vice versa. He’s content buying DVDs or topping up his Starbucks coffee card on an all-to-frequent schedule, but I feel guilty spending a little of our hard-earned dough on myself. We both work and we both contribute to the family income, so it’s not easy to say “my money” or “your money” when it all balances out at the end of the month. But still… what can we do to make things a little smoother?

Short-Changed in Sherwood Park

Dear Short-Changed,

I can’t stress enough the imporance of knowing your family budget. What’s coming in? What’s going out? What’s left over at the end? But I’ve been there, and not only is a detailed budget TIME consuming, it’s not always a process for the feint of heart.

Brent and I work our budget on a hierarchy of importance. We’ve discussed and agreed upon a few basic neccessities — but then realized we were in the same boat as you and your husband. After the bills are paid, the food is on the table, and a little bit of cash is stuffed away for later what do we do with the excess. Brent wanted power tools. I wanted craft supplies and new equipment for my home gym. And, of course, we couldn’t have it all. Mix that in with Brent’s “addictions” to his morning coffee and weekly Saturday brunch (not to mention my own costly rituals) and neither of us was gaining ground on our wishlists.

And I can tell you, it was a sore point in the relationship.

Our solution was to figure out an allowance. Sounds simple right? It really is, but you need to figure out that “magic number” that will keep you both interested in the process, allow you to reach your goals, and (very importantly) not break you financially.

Our magic number is 7, and we’re not so much paying ourselves as permitting each other a “FREE-parking” ticket for our daily expenses. Each day, each of us is allowed to spend a grand total of $7 without any justification, explanation, apology or reconciliation. Seven dollars, FREE and clear but completely on the honour system. I don’t count his, he doesn’t count mine. We don’t pay it out, but we keep track — and on Sunday night the difference between what we spent and didn’t spend goes into a parallel bank account (and that is a completely different topic) that the other cannot touch.

Yes, seven bucks a day doesn’t sound like much. But over a week, a month, a few months…

What does this do for our relationship? For starters we don’t really fight about the small stuff anymore. He knows what he’s saving for, as do I. He’s cut back on his coffee budget, brewing at home more often and suddenly the weekly brunch has become a bi-weekly (or even monthly) event that can’t compare to the allure of a new set of router bits or a laser level he’s been eyeing at Home Depot.

And for me? Seven bucks per day easily becomes two hundred “FREE” dollars per month to put towards that new eliptical trainer. And Brent can’t say a word!

- Liz

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