Haddow Press Experiment

Movie Moments - Episode #1

Archived in Movies, Reviews, Retro |

This is Episode One of my feature column, the Movie Moments on Haddow Drive where arbitrarily rank “The Best or Worst of…” a themed movie moment or movie entire. There is no method here. Just opinions.

Episode #1: Top Five Most Ridiculous Ways to Use Virtual Reality in the Future

#5: The Matrix (and Sequels) — Think you’ve got a headache from staring at that LCD monitor all day. Just wait until you have data port implanted directly into your skull. This is perhaps the most likely method to directly interface the brain, but what happens when the manufacturer comes out with an upgrade and suddenly your head is incompatible with a new “brain plug” standard. Oh, sorry. Your head has a Serial BPCR Version 1.3.K. This software requires a PARALLEL 1.4.T port. You can get an adapter, but its a little bulky. Too bad. I’m thinking the less actual ‘implanting’ the better.

#4: eXistenZ — So you put a “bioport” into your spine and let a genetically engineered frog-computer-brain suckle your backside? Did I get that right? Of course, that was the fiction WITHIN the fiction, but the concept is there; Allegra (better known as an allergy medication, I think) brushes off the sanitation issue by commenting on the other orifices of the body that seem to do fine with regards to infection. Maybe she forgot how much maintenance goes into keeping those ‘holes’ healthy. Ever had a cold? Methinks there might be a little more than data getting into that particular port.

#3: The Lawnmower Man — The whole goggle and body-suit gig might seem the most (currently) realistic approach, but as far as boosting intelligence and unleashing the hidden potential of telekinetic powers that turn your average horticulturalist into some kind of evil super villain, I have my doubts.

#2: TRON — Barring the fact that the computers used in the movie are (advanced as they were purported) the computational equivalent of a broken iPod, the effect of laser-digitizing oneself into virtual reality lacks something of appeal. One can look to your average DVD or Blu-Ray for a laser, but as anything but a disc reader — I don’t think so. Call me a pessimist, but the fact is lasers are just light: we can control them to transfer energy or focus them to transfer data, but I think that’s about as far as we’re going to get on the virtual reality front.

#1: Total Recall — Why simply play game, when you can replace your entire memory with a fake one and BE the game. Was it just me, or did Arnold look like he was in a lot of pain when they put him in the hopper?

Popularity: 17% [?]

Read more posts by Andrew S (About the Author)

del.icio.us Digg it Earthlink Furl iFeedReaders ma.gnolia Maple.nu Netvouz Netscape RawSugar reddit Scuttle Shadows Simpy Spurl StumbleUpon Wink Yahoo MyWeb

Posts that might have similar content:

Movie Moments - Episode #2 >> This is (ONLY) Episode Two of my feature column, the Movie Moments on Haddow Drive where arbitrarily rank "The Best or Worst of..." a themed movie moment or movie entire. There is no method here. Just opinions. Patience, Grasshopper. I

Television Showdown Index >> Television Showdown on Haddow Drive I’m all into the feature columns so I’ve been fiddling with some ideas around a “television showdown” where I pit two similar shows against each other on a variety of standard criteria. The criteria are always the