Haddow Press Experiment

Pets Now, Kids Later?

Archived in Relationships, Pets |

A pet is a serious responsibility. I can’t stress that enough. Here’s what I had to say to a girl who emailed me about a looming decision.

Dear Liz,

My fiancé and I are thinking about getting a dog. We think it would be good ‘training’ for a child, when someday we plan to have kids. Is this a good idea, and how do you think it will affect our relationship?

Pooched in Ponoka

Dear Pooched,

Let me first say that a pet — especially a dog or a cat — is a serious responsibility. As a canine owner I have very strong feelings about the physical and emotional care of any animal, and while I respect your decision to adopt a furry friend, let me first add a few words of caution.

First, you didn’t mention if you are waiting until after you are married. Many couples are adopting PETS prior to marriage. While this isn’t quite as bad as with a child, a break up (amicable or not) can leave a pet stranded between two broken-hearted individuals who don’t want a reminder (or the responsibility) of lost love. I may sound old fashioned here, but wait until you tie the knot officially. A pet needs a happy, healthy home, too.

Second, I’m always a little bit leary when couples approach the pet decision as a kind of pre-baby training course. When a baby comes you’re going to have plenty of practice, and believe me: you’re comparing apples and oranges. A dog or a cat is nothing like a child and too many people adopt a pet thinking the novelty will never wear off. PETS can be messy and needy — and they will always need you to look after them lest they suffer through their innocent lives. On the other hand, a child grows up, learns, and goes through changes that make them dynamic individuals with new challenges every day. A dog will love you forever, but a dog’s life is pretty routine.

I suppose my point is this: if you think you’re going to learn something about yourself or your future spouse by becoming the caregiver to an animal, well… you’re probably right. Just make sure it’s the correct lesson: not the lesson that you’re a bad pet owner.

-Liz

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