Haddow Press Experiment

Find your middle ground…

Archived in Relationships, Games |

I’m a bit of tech geek, so I offered this advice to a not-so-geeky co-worker of mine. She wasn’t too sure what to make of her spouses little “childish” obsessions.

Dear Liz,

Both my husband and I are nearly thirty years old. We own our own home, we both have great jobs, and now we’re starting to think about children at this stage of our lives. The problem is that he is still obsessed with video GAMES. It’s not that he spends too much TIME playing. Not at all. In fact, the problem is that he spends significant amounts of money buying the latest hardware and then buys two or three new GAMES every month. It adds up, and I’d really like to see him get a new hobby, grow up — and maybe get off the couch once in a while.

Playstationed-Out in Pembina

Dear Playstationed-Out,

It seems to me that you’re trying to ram a wedge between a guy and his toys. The fact is, we live a world of technological pleasures and trying to understand why our guys like their toys so much is like asking why the sun shines: There is obviously a scientific explanation, but we’d be darned if we can do anything about it. And very often people get upset because their spouse is spending money (and even TIME) on things that are solitary rather than couple-based.

I’ve seen this issue exposed in so many places I can’t even begin to count: whether it’s a powerful car or truck, a recreational vehicle like a snowmobile or a quad, expensive power tools, or high-end electronics and computer hardware there seems to be a “vice” for every kind of bloke out there.

I’ve managed to cope with my own tech-obsessed guy because I’m a bit of a femme-geek. It’s not that I enjoy the first-person blood baths, or the mindless drug-running SIMULATIONS of many video GAMES into which my husband seems to absorb himself. Instead, I’ve found peace with a few of the lighter sides of his technology. He wants to buy the latest video game console on the market, so we have an agreement: simply “what’s in it for me?”

For example, about a year ago my husband had tired of his X-Box, bored of his Game Cube, and was eyeing the price-reduced Playstation 2. I asked the standard question as he paced the floor of Best Buy, puppy-dog-eyed, and justifying the purchase from our joint chequing account. What’s in it for me? Turns out, there was a bit of Playstation software that I could enjoy alone and some other GAMES that I convinced him we could play “together.” I picked up a copy of Yourself!Fitness, a personal training exercise program that runs on the PS2, and a few weeks later we located a copy of Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) Ultramix and a couple dance mats.

So, what’s in it for me? I get to spend a little TIME with my husband playing DDR. And, I get to spend a little TIME for myself, working out and trying some interactive video yoga. He gets his new toy, and the lingering knowledge that he needs to share it with his wife.

How then, you ask, does this help your situation? I suppose what I’m saying is this: find your middle ground. If he wants to buy a new video game, maybe he needs to compromise and get something you genuinely want to try. BUT… but that works both ways. You need to find something that you can share: get him off the couch with some fitness software like Yourself!Fitness or any of the “active” GAMES. Make sure he picks up two-player GAMES that are at your skill level. And maybe even pick up that controller once in a while when he’s not watching and have a look at his interests.

Remember, it’s not about manipulating your guy into something he doesn’t want to do or having him give up something he enjoys. It’s about finding a way to share you hobbies and you can do that by showing an interest and making the TIME to be involved. You never know: you might even convince him to take a peek at what you enjoy.

- Liz

Popularity: 7% [?]

Read more posts by Liz M (About the Author)

del.icio.us Digg it Earthlink Furl iFeedReaders ma.gnolia Maple.nu Netvouz Netscape RawSugar reddit Scuttle Shadows Simpy Spurl StumbleUpon Wink Yahoo MyWeb

Posts that might have similar content:

Fence Posts and Holes >> In building a strong wood fence, you must always remember that the foundation for that fence is your posts. No matter how strong you might build the panels, the fence will not stand the test of time and the elements if your

Deck Construction: Part 3 >> The best advice I can offer on finishing your new deck stairs and railings is to PLAN. And, whatever you do, wherever you start, whoever you manage to have help you, do not underestimate the power of: (A) Shopping Around Not all steps and